So I guess you could consider it a cold day in Chicago. I woke up and it was one degree. ONE. If only it ended there, but it said that with the wind chill, the temperature was getting down to -17. That's not even frozen nose hair cold, that is a whole other level of cold. The temperature is like, "I'm not even going to bother freezing your nose hairs, I'm just going to go straight for the jugular: I'm going to freeze your pipes so you can't bathe and then I'm going to freeze your car windows shut so when you get to the parking garage at your doctor's office, you have to get your frozen ass out of the car to retrieve your parking ticket, and when I'm done with that, I'm going to make it so that you have you cancel your date night because it's going to be too damn cold to walk around Little Italy. What's that? You only have so many childless Friday nights left in your entire life? Well you can just suck it."
One place that did not get the "it's freezing" memo was the grocery store. You know how the grocery store will try and have a featured section up front to get you to buy stuff for whatever event is going on (NYE champagne, Valentine's Day cupcakes, etc.)? After my doctor's appointment, I stopped there to get stuff for dinner (now that I've been frozen out of my previous plans) and they had this little arrangement at the front:
In case you can't tell what's going on here, they are currently featuring the following items: tomatoes, jalapeños, onions, avocados, limes, and the saddest bunch of cilantro I've ever seen. Because usually when it's February and below zero temps, the first thing I think of is making guacamole.
Also, this is kind of terrifying:
Again, if you don't see what I'm seeing, the AT&T guy is up on a ladder that is sitting on ice, so he has it strapped to a pole so it doesn't slip and send him to his death. It's just too damn cold today.